Cooking jokes

— step-by-step recipes, women's secrets and useful tips

Flag of USA Flag of Russia
» Cooking jokes

Chukcha bought a refrigerator

Chukcha bought a refrigerator.
— What do you need this fridge for? You live in Siberia.
— To warm up during winter. Imagine the joy - it`s -40 outside and +4 in the refrigerator.

A teaspoon of sugar

- What caused your breakup?
- Lying.
- What exactly?
“I asked if I could put sugar in his coffee.” And he said:
- Lie in!

The difference between a man and a woman

What is the difference between a drunk man and a woman:
When a man drinks, he forgets everything.
When a woman drinks, she remembers everything!

Bad food

Restaurant visitor to the waiter, dissatisfied with food:
- You don’t even have to eat this... This is already shit!

Not afraid of wife

- Fedya! You know, when I drink, I’m not afraid of anyone!
- And are you not afraid of your wife?
- Well ... I can’t drink that much!

Man and woman

A man without a woman is like a dog without fleas ... You can live, but boring!
A woman without a man is like a flea without a dog ... You can live, but there is no one to bite!

Culinary surprise for a husband

A tired husband returns home from work late in the evening.
“What have you prepared for me today?” he asked his wife.
Standing on a chair, the wife straightened up her bathrobe and said:
- A song!

Better eat out

Two friends are talking.
- Recently, my husband admitted that the reason for his marriage to me was the fact that he did not like to eat out.
“So now he is constantly having lunch at home?” - the friend asks.
“Quite the opposite!” Now he already likes to eat out.

Hungry husband

The husband addresses his wife:
- Darling, I want to eat!
The wife who was sitting in front of the TV answers:
“Well, then break your eggs.”
The husband is surprised:
- Well, I got your terms! So, maybe I should break my hand as well, so that you cook faster?

Couple in a restaurant

At the restaurant, the husband awkwardly chopped meat, as a result of which spray of sauce left spots on his wife's blouse.
The wife could not resist, and strictly turned to her husband:
- Misha, do you like it now?! I look like a pig!
The husband calmly replied:
“I didn’t mean to say, but your blouse is dirty too.”

Lunch with music

Restaurant: Visitors have lunch, and the orchestra plays one music after another without interruption.
One of the dining clients calls the waiter and asks:
- Tell me please! Is the orchestra commissioned by visitors?
“Yes, of course,” the waiter answers. And what do you want them to play?
“Let them play poker for 15 minutes until I finish lunch.”

About section "Cooking jokes"

Mushroom sauce
22-12-2019, 16:04

Buckwheat with beef
21-12-2019, 22:18

Rice-free chicken meatballs
21-12-2019, 21:50

Chicken liver pate
21-12-2019, 12:58

Vegetable ratatouille
20-12-2019, 22:24

Latest reviews

Pickled cabbage with beets

01-12-2020 Mark Smit
Hello again! I found it. Just overlooked! Sorry for the confusion. Kind ...

Pickled cabbage with beets

01-12-2020 Mark Smit
Hello! I busy making this but now I see that you add vinegar. That is ...

Ishli Kufta

08-04-2020 AraVos
What do you think this dish is called in Armenian? ...

Ishli Kufta

08-04-2020 Novellian
Why do you have to use Turkish names to this dish? Don’t you know the ...

Pork ham in foil

31-12-2019 AraVos
And this we have prepared for this recipe today — 31-12-2019 Weight: 8.5 ...

Dolma with grape leaves

25-09-2019 Asot
wah wah wah. I want dolma, just like this one, with sour cream with garlic ...
Recipes © 2011–2020 VosMarket